By Anjana Anand
Known for her pitch perfect and soulful voice, Preethy Mahesh is an asset for a Bharatanatyam dancer. She has trained with legends in the field and her training can be seen in the quality of her performance. An “A” grade vocalist at All India Radio and awarded the ‘best vocal accompanist’ by Sri Krishna Gana Sabha, Preethy Mahesh is at the peak of her career. Recently she has taken a bold decision to step back and take a critical look at her music and progress – a much needed decision for any artiste in their artistic journey. Preethy speaks candidly about her experiences and need for introspection at this stage in her career.
Tell us about your early years of learning
I come from a traditional family where Carnatic music is part of our life. I had a good voice and my parents felt that I should not waste a god given gift. Initially, I learnt music with a teacher living nearby. My serious foray into Carnatic music came when I started learning music from D. K. Jayaraman at the age of 12. Unfortunately, when I was 19 and had just begun giving kucheris, Sir passed away. I was so fixated on the Pattammal bani that I just could not learn music with just anyone! I was very confused about my future in music after his demise.
Was it an early decision to become a musician?
I had no ambitions at all.I learnt music because it seemed the natural thing to do being from a family which loved music. My grandmother had dreams of me becoming a famous vocalist. She insisted that I do early morning sadhakam but I did not go through gruelling practice sessions. It happened very naturally and at my own pace. After D.K. Jayaraman passed away, I wanted to pursue my studies but my parents felt that my future was in music. I had the usual dreams of doing my MBA and going abroad to study but that path received no encouragement at home! I was like most girls at that age with no mind of my own. I did a B Com in Meenakshi College and kept my music up with D. K. Pattamal and PS Narayanaswamy. Somehow, nothing seemed to inspire me. When I was with Sir, I had a lovely group of peers and I missed that interaction. Then to my joy, I met Tanjore S. Kalyanaraman and began to learn under him. I felt that once again that my involvement in music was kindled. His style was very different but I found his teaching very challenging. He taught me different techniques and I felt I was at a peak in my ability to absorb and learn. It was short lived for Kalyanaraman Sir also passed away a year later. After that my music took a back seat and I moved on to other things.
What was the turning point to come back into music?
I got busy with family life and my only connection to music was teaching informally at home. When my older daughter was 6, I enrolled her in Bharatanatyam classes at Bharatakalanjali (run by the Dhananjayans). One day when I was talking to Shanta Dhananjayan about my music, she asked me to sing. Immediately she said “We have an arangetram coming up. I would like you to sing for it”. I was taken aback! I had no experience singing for Natyam and I had no idea that I would ever sing professionally again. My exposure to Bharatanataym even as a rasika was poor. It was this performance which brought me back into music in 2002.
Actually when I was 15 or 16, I did sing for a Bharatanatyam performance. Sreekala Bharath took me to K.J. Sarasa’s house to sing ‘Kapali’ in Mohana raga for her to choreograph. I also sang for SreekalaBharath once a few years later.
Do you enjoy singing for Natyam?
Absolutely! I get so much joy from singing for Natyam. In fact, at one point when I got back into music, I started getting offers to sing for kucheris but I did not take up the offers. I was fully fledged into being a vocal accompanist by then and I knew kucheri singing was a completely different ball game. The kind of practice and guidance I needed would have been different. Also since I did not have a guru by then, I had no motivation to become a mainstream Carnatic vocalist.
My exposure to Natyam came only after I started singing for dancers. I realized how much I enjoyed dance and every rehearsal was so enriching. Before I knew it, 14 years passed by!
What were the initial difficulties?
The challenge was understanding Bharatanatyam and getting used to a nattuvanar next to me! Initially, I did not even understand when a jathi was going to start or how it was structured. It took me some time to understand the team work involved in an orchestra and of course, the technicalities of BharataNatyam. Initially, the nattuvanar would signal that he was going to start reciting the jati and that I should stop singing! Slowly, I began to understand the whole system. I became a true rasika of Natyam because of this experience.
You sang many years for Priyadarsini Govind. Tell us about your experience
Priyadarsini heard about me through some common friends and asked me to sing for her performance in Nepal. This happened in 2003. From then there was no looking back. We have a tremendous rapport and I enjoyed singing for her. I have travelled all over the world with her. Audiences loved our dance-music combination.
You had a very smooth and successful journey as far as music is concerned all these years. Yet, you suddenly decided to take a short sabbatical from the Bharatanatyam field. Tell us about this decision.
I have been singing for Bharatanatyam without a break for more than a decade now and I am extremely happy with this field. However over the last couple of years, I have suddenly begun to feel that I am lacking somewhere in my music. Some dissatisfaction has crept into me with regards to my singing. I have been thinking a lot about it and I realize that I need to focus on my own practice and get back to the music I used to sing in my early years. I sense a certain depth lacking in my music now and my voice is not cooperating as it did before. I cannot ignore the warning signs.
Do you intend to return to the field as a kucheriartiste
Not at all. As I mentioned earlier, being in the Bharatanatyam field has brought me immense satisfaction. I am only taking a break to work on my own music and voice. It is time to break out of the comfort zone that I have slipped into over the years.
It takes a lot of honesty and clarity for a popular vocalist like yourself to listen to your inner voice.
Well, I am very clear that I want to continue as a Bharatanataym vocalist. The difference is that when I get back to the Natyam field soon, I want to sing with renewed enthusiasm and depth in my music. For that, I need time to sing for myself. I want to practice all my old padantharam and work on my voice. It is something I have taken for granted. Unless we constantly keep upgrading ourselves, we cannot give our best as a accompanists for Natyam. I think the reason I started paying attention to the warning signs within me was due to my interest in perfection. I want to come back to this field with the strength of a Carnatic vocalist not just as a Bharatanatyam accompanist.
What do you feel is the reason for Bharatanatyam accompanists reaching a point of stagnation after sometime?
The irony is that as vocal accompanists we have no dearth of performances and are singing a variety of compositions through the year. I now realize that it not quantity but quality which is the problem. As accompanists we are singing all types of compositions, some of which may not be best musically. Over time, there is a danger of losing our individuality and not challenging ourselves in terms of musical depth. This can reflect in the elasticity of voice and quality of music. I think it is integral for a musician to continue one’s own practice and upgrade oneself musically even if one does not choose to be a kucheri performer.
Have you composed music for productions?
No. I enjoy singing old compositions. The musicality of traditional compositions inspire me. When I sing compositions by the Tanjavur Nalvar or Dhandayudapani Pillai, I feel so much satisfaction. I think these great masters knew how to compose for Natyam. They were able to combine the classicism of Carnatic music with the beauty of movement in Bharatanatyam. I do not think that as a musician I am equipped with that skill so I choose to sing those gems rather than make a feeble attempt at composing! A good composer needs a different set skill set. Being a good performer is not the only criteria.
Which one of your performances do you have fond memories of?
All of them actually! I have always travelled with a great team all these years. I enjoyed our performance in Jerusalem in the early years of my career. I was inspired to be in the place where Jesus Christ was born. Performances in Paris with Priyadarsini Govind and Alarmel Valli were also high points in my career. We had such an appreciative audience.